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Food Is Not Love

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been through the experience of eating her (or his) feelings—or perhaps the opposite; starving them.

As children, we celebrate wins with ice cream and soothe cuts and bruises with cupcakes and hot cocoa. It makes perfect sense that as adults we would comfort our discomfort with chocolate or soothe relationship woes with peanut butter cookies (gluten-free, of course).

self soothing indulgences.

yummy self soothing indulgences.

Sitting on an emotional upheaval is difficult. In fact, it sucks. We are just not wired to do that. My friend Monica says she eats her resentment. She would rather push down the emotion with a gluten-free scone than walk straight up to her husband and tell him she resents him for getting in her space ( or for some other silly reason). The only issue with this issue is, the emotion gets shoved down further with the scone—so now you end up resenting yourself, as well as the other person.

I have a long history with emotional eating. Chocolate is my weakness and I know my triggers. In moments of turmoil, I keep away from the crack (so to speak). Although I’ve jumped the hurdle, I will forever be tapped on the shoulder by the self-soothing monster. It’s just another way our egos can get us into trouble.

I teach a course called Eat Like a French Girl™, and in it we find what I like to call our “Inner French Girl™,” who guides us. We all have one, we just have to meet her and begin to listen to her. If I follow my IFG™, it feels unfamiliar at first, but if I keep listening to her and let HER guide me, the unfamiliar will soon become familiar.

For example, it will feel unfamiliar at first for me NOT to turn to chocolate when I am frustrated with my husband or want to cut his hair off because of a disagreement. For me to instead turn to swearing therapy or go to a yoga class is just going against my grain. Those two things are just so not normal to my old habits and patterns. My ego will scream, yell and tell me I am crazy. But if I “stop, drop and roll” or pause and listen to my Inner French Girl™, I can stomp out that ego like a cigarette butt on a sidewalk. Take that!  No overindulging in chocolate today.


2013-08-26 16.03.14

Me, eating with love, not vengeance 🙂


I’m not sure who said it to me, or maybe I just said it to myself in a moment of clarity, but

[quote style=”1″] TWEETABLE you can overcome anything if you don’t look at it as an obstacle. [/quote]

And it’s true. If I don’t look at chocolate as the devil or food as an issue, then it’s not. They are just momentary blips in the desire for connectedness. That’s what it’s all about anyway, isn’t it? Love – just love.


In the comments below I would love to hear how you deflect from emotionally eating –

AND if you have a friend who may enjoy this piece, pass it along…